That New Teacher
by Raikiriblade
Summary: After Nezu-sensei was kicked out, who would teach Dame-Tsuna's class Mathematics? Poor guys. Lured by the promise of a job and the idea of getting away from a certain Pineapple, Maya Shizuka signs up to be the sub, as well as a student at Namimori. Watch out, shit is about to go down... No pairings. Rated T for cursing.
1. Chapter 1

A/N **: **Hey guys, (or maybe one, or two. No one would ever read this anyway.) This is my second fic,ignoring the fact that the Tears and Dynamite one had no paragraphs. If I have have enough brains in the future, I'll edit it. This is a KHR fic. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR, if I did the manga would never have ended.

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That New Teacher.

Chapter 0: Introductions..

"Ku fufu... Oya oya, what do you have here?"

"Shove off, Pineapple-sama. It's a Enrollment application. To Namimori." The girl pulled the paper away from Mukuro irritatedly, shooting him a glare that clearly said 'Fudge off, or I'll tear that smirk as well as your pineapple leaves off your head.' The Mist guardian twitched, irked by the fact that he was called a fruit."Oya oya, but aren't you already a Kukuyo student?"

"I need a job, Mukuro-san. Being a student here does not pay me. In fact, it does the opposite. Do you know how much I had to frickin' pay just because Ken got into a fight with Chikusa? Those dipshits." The girl folded the piece of paper and stuffed it into her pocket, brushing off dust as she stood up from the couch. Seeing a questioning look on his face, she added. "There was a job offer to be the new math teacher in Namimori. Some teachers were running around desperately crying for help because this "Hikari-san' would "kami gukutoso' them. Sounds like a job for me."

"Ku fufu. I think they mean Hibari Kyoya. The head of the Disinplinary Committee. Interesting guy, he is..."

"Ew, stop with your creepy-pefo-pervert face, you kufufu-ing perverted pineapple."

Mukuro's eye twitched furiously. "Oi oi, Shizuka-chan, that's not nic-"

Purple mist surrounded the girl as she faded awayn), effectively cutting him off with a "Arrivederci, off to find a job!"

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A/N chapter is short and crappy, I know. But believe it or not, it will be useful in the next chapter. Probably a bit too early for this, but...

READ AND REVIEW, GUYS! CIAO!


	2. Chapter 2

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That new Teacher. Chap 1

A/N: Another short chapter. Sorry. Not like anyone really reads anyway.

In response to guest "Melody", what is the relation of Pineapple-sama and Shizuka? I'll get there one day, continue reading on~

A hint: Something like Chrome, but she isn't a vessel.

Disclaimer: Me no own KHR. I only own couple of keychains.

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Chapter 1: Meet and Greet.

"Ne, I heard that there was a new teacher to replace Nezu."

"Really?! Wasn't it a new transfer student?"

Tsuna shifted uneasily. Transfer? Teacher? It better not be another crazy mafia hitman...

He shuddered at the memory of Dino, and Gokudera when they first appeared in Namimori High. Let's hope for no bombs and raging tortoises, shall we?

"Good morning! Juudaime!"

"Ah, good morning, Gokudera-kun."

Tsuna, like how he did in all his classes, zoned out as his self-proclaimed right hand man continued to talk about something else, when he saw something black whirred past through the door. Was he...seeing things?

The black blur tripped, and with a loud crash. The class whipped their heads around abruptly to the fallen desk. Who was that?!

"Aw man...way to make a first day..." a girl's voice?

A pale hand rose from the desk, and a mass of black hair rose beside it. Tsuna paled. It's here! The Ring! Sadako is here!

The figure rose. It wasn't Sadako. It was a girl. The familiar green jacket of Kukuyo registering in Tsuna's brain. A Kukuyo student?

Well, duh. Brilliant deduction, Tsuna.

"Ah, Hi. Um, guys." The girl scratched her head sheepishly. "Maya Shizuka. Call me Shizuka. I'll be your math teacher as well as your transfer student." She trained her eyes on the class. She stared at their disbelieving faces. "I transferred from Kukuyo to here."

"No, seriously guys. I have the card thingy." She fished out the card, displaying her face just above the barcode. "It's those fancy things teachers use to scan open their staffroom door. I'm real."

Awkward silence. This was going to take longer than she thought.

"I'm serious! Look at this..."

* * *

Approximately half an hour later, they finally bought her story. Or the truth. She really was the teacher, right?

Shizuka gave out a stack of papers. "This contains all of your questions in past year papers. I've seen your previous work, and frankly, their shit. You have twenty minutes. For each mistake, you get to do twenty squats."

Stalking towards a certain Dame's table, she slammed his paper down on the desk,earning a "Hieee!" From the latter. She fixed her onyx orbs on the boy, she lips pulling into that familar creepy smirk. "Arara, Sawada Tsunayoshi. Do your best~"

Did...did he just see a apparition of Mukuro...?!

Why did he feel that they were related?

Oh yeah, the uniform and the smirk.

"Stop gawking and start doing! Twenty minutes!"

"Nani?! Hundred questions in twenty minutes? That's not possible!"

Death by math. Mukuro can have a new path of hell embedded in his eye, heck, if he was even brave enough.

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READ AND REVIEW! ARIGATOU MINNA!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I tried to get a longer chapter, but with absolutely no plot in mind yet, what happens in this chapter is kinda 95% random.

Thank you all you kind reviewers for raising my confidence in this fic and I'll say some people are reading my fic, not nobody.

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR, if I did...if I did...the manga would be eternal.

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Chapter 3 (I think)

"Hmm. Remember, class, those three practice papers and read chapter five. Class is over, I hope you enjoy my first class with me, and I hope I'll enjoy second period as a fellow student with you."

The new teacher looked at her class. There was no response.

"Heeelllloooo~~ earth to students?"

No response.

Tsuna peeked through the crack of light entering through the gap of his face and the table. His haunted eyes boring holes at the blank girl standing in front of class, green marker in hand.

"Why is no one answering?"

Because everyone's half dead you idiot!

His head pounded and he could visualise little x's and y's swarming his head, multiplying themselves and turning into pi.

thought he was dying, he regretted.

I should have...hid all those comics before Lambo found them...I should have confessed to Kyoko-chan before the whacko came here...

Too bad he wasn't shot with a dying will bullet.

Thank you, okaa-san, for raising me. It had been a wonderful short life...

His consciousness turned black.

Pained groans of the mentally wounded sounded through the room, their pose similar to Tsuna.

Face down buried on the table covered with papers. Aching hands lying limply at their sides, bags strewn on the floor. It was a mathematical battlefield. The humans lost.

All except one. And the octopus.

If you even count Shizuka as human. Standing there innocently, with papers flying around the defeated casualties. That evil person.

"Take me to the ...infirmary..."

"Grandma? I-is that you..? I'll see you soon..."

"I see so many...numbers..."

"You bastard! You killed Juudaime!"

Faced with thirty something half dead glares and one full-out I-am-going-to-castrate-you glare, Shizuka didn't know how to react.

Shizuka Pov.

How the fuck is this my fault?

Not like I expected them to be half-wits, except for that Octopus-thingy treating Mukuro's ...interest like a heavily wounded best friend in war.

"Hang in there Juudaime!"

And...he just...scooped the body up and ran.

"I'll get you to the infirmary! DONT DIE JUUUDaiimmme..."

I can hear his voice fade as they disappear down the hall.

I feel myself blink. Um...what the hell?

"Kami-sama..."

Oh yeah, I forgot about the students. What to do?

I, Maya Shizuka, am a lot of things.

A professor in Mathematics, a fighter, the person who could cuss out a sailor, the girl who could get twenty headshots. The girl who tolerated a pineapple and two blokes for years.

But I do not know how to care. Those bastards replaced my common sense with bloodlust.

I'm glad I killed them.

I shook my head. Don't think of them. Don't.

I squashed the familiar bitter feelings down. Straying from the topic here...

What to do with my students...?

I suddenly feel awkward. That kind of feeling when you're the third wheel.

In this case, everyone was busy dying but I'm just awkwardly standing there, NOT dying...

"I'm...just gonna go get the nurse..."

And I awkwardly side-shuffle out of the room. Thank god it was a Friday. I now have two days of weekend with Ken laughing in my face for taking out an entire class in an period. And I didn't even use my trident!

Where do you think I can find a big enough paper bag to cover my face?

A/N: So how was it? Longer? Better? Shittier?

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READ AND REVIEW! ARIGATOU!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hi, sorry for not updating because... well; I don't have an excuse. Pelt me with stones if you want. I will accept blame.

I've been trying to get out longer chapters, which is difficult as every single chapter I've written for this fic was pure crack.

Well, to apologise to the reader(s), you can put in a few ideas of your own via the review, or PM.

I'm new to typing Fanfiction. Yoroshiku onegai shimasu! (Please take care of me!) Or something like that. I never listened in third language class.

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Chapter 4

"What?! You seriously did that?! Ahahaha! Stupid Shizuka."

Said girl threw an apple at Ken. "Shut up! Or I'll whoop your butt too!" Her eye twitched furiously. As soon as the fruit hit the laughing teen she flopped back on the couch, groaning loudly. She kicked her legs out in a fit, mumbling and muttering.

"Aarrgghhh! Fudge it! First day, this happens! What the hell?!"

Mukuro appeared behind her, startling her out of her rant. "Ku fu. I guess you were too hard on them. Afterall, not all of them are math geniuses." Shizuka stared unblinkingly at the smirking pineapple. "You sound like you know there's a math genius in class. You've met the Octopus, right?"

Mukuro sat down on the couch opposite her. "Gokudera Hayato. The tuna's right hand man..."

Shizuka struggled to upright herself . "Oh yeah! That Sawada guy! Are you sure you're interested? He's a wimp. His grades suck. His physical education sucks. He's short. He's girly. You sure? Pineapple-san?"

Mukuro ignored the the fruit jab. "There's more than meets the eye...why not spend some time with him? You'll see. He protects his friends, that's what makes him strong. Kufufu..." he ended with his creepy laugh.

"Whatever," She scowled. "I'm going out. Buncha weirdos."

"Send Sawada Tsunayoshi my regards..."

"Fine!"

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Meanwhile...

"Come on, Tsuna. She's not that bad, right?" Yamamoto chuckled, smiling sheepishly as he strode along the smaller teen. "Bad?" Tsuna gulped. His face turning pale. "S-she's a monster! Look at the math homework she gave us! Everyone was sent to the infirmary!"

Tsuna lugged the bags of groceries with difficulty. Thank goodness Yamamoto was there when Nana sent him out on grocery hunting. He wouldn't even make it out of the exit.

Yamamoto shrugged. "Well, it could be worse. Maya-sensei could pop out out of nowhere. Right?"

Something fell in his gut. When people usually said that...

"Eh? Sawada and Yamamoto?"

Tsuna usually didn't curse, but...

Crap.

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A/N: I've tried to type longer, but...oh well.

READ AND REVIEW! ARIGATOU!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hello my dear, appreciated, (possibly impatient) readers,

I am so sorry for not updating. School and failing grades and laziness and a new fandom has kept me aay from the computer.

I cannot stress enough that this story will continue to have short chapters, but I will try to type longer. The plot I had originally intended to write had been changed, as i don't feel any kick from it.

Secondly, the feel of KHR madness had kinda died with me along with my grades, and I have no desire to be serious with me. I'm very sorry. But I will try my best to update.

Oh why had it come to this? He really cursed Yamamoto's jinx powers. What was worse, She had offered to carry the groceries to his house, awkwardly shuffling along the road as he led the way. Yamamoto had tried to make small talk with their new teacher, but she rather proved that she was just as socially awkward as the Decimo himself.

If the appearance of Maya-sensei was something to grouch about, what happened when they reached his house sent a heart attack to the pitiful Tuna.

"Ah! Tsu-kun made a new friend! Why don't you stay awhile for dinner?"

Of course, Tsuna had gaped like the tuna he was, and vehemently denied it, screeching that there were too many people in the house already, and since Nana had already cooked dinner, there was no way there was enough food for an extra person. But of course, Lady Luck was frowning on him as the heavens bestowed the most shitty luck of all.

"I made extra today!" The beam Nana had on her face made him think she had anticipated this from the beginning. Maybe she was smarter than she had let on.

Tsuna looked at Shizuka desperately in hopes she would say no, but who could resist the powers of Sawada Nana's cooking? The aroma of steamed fish wafted from the kitchen, eliciting a groan from her stomach as she grinned gratefully. "Thank you. Sawada-san."

Which explained why the devil of a teacher was sitting at the dinner table, eagerly filling her plate with food as she complimented Nana on the food. "It's amazing!"

It was so delicious. Maybe she should drop by more often to get more delicious, nourishing food than those greasy fast food joints Ken frequented. maybe that was the reason Yamamoto, Gokudera and some weird kid in a cow suit as there at dinner as well.

Tsuna definitely was interesting, having made friends with such a deliquent like Smokin' Bomb Hayato, even making him proclaim himself as 'Juudaimes's right hand man.' It made her wonder fleetingly what Tsuna did to acheive such feat.

Could he at least call his lackey off on all the glares she was getting? It disturbed her food.

She nodded vaguely at the questions Nana asked during dinner, answering with her mouth full as she chatted animatedly.

it was the first time she tasted food like this. With being one of the only females in the group, she always had to cook or order take-out. Eating her own cooking was not the same, and Chikusa's skill was dismal; his eggs always seemed charred and Ken was the only one who managed to burn water while boiling it. Don't even get her started on Pineapple-san.

His sunny side ups sent the entire group through the six paths of Hell and back in a single bite, and the kitchen was in no better state. Needless to say, their beloved leader was then on banished from the kitchen for eternity.

Nana seemed pleasantly surprised at the fact that she was their new math teacher, and had requested with a blinding smile to tutor Tsuna more to lift his dismal grades. "With Reborn-kun's help. it did improve slightly, but maybe it can still be better." she beamed hopefully at the girl.

Many of them had already finished dinner, and Shizuka simply grinned. "My pleasure, it's what a teacher would do afterall," she jabbed a thumb towards he chest. "Leave it to me! Tsuna, let's bring this upstairs! Your tutoring starts now!"

"HIIIEEEEEEE!"

A/N : Phew, longer than I thought.

READ AND REVIEW! SANK YU!


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